The Top Ten Estate Planning Myths (and the Real-World Truth Behind Them)

Estate planning is one of those topics everyone means to handle “soon,” and everyone has heard a confident friend repeat a half-true rule that later turns out to be a headache. As a trusts-and-estates attorney (and former Smithfield, Rhode Island probate judge), I’ve seen families pay for these myths the hard way - with avoidable court time, taxes, delays, and fractured relationships.
Below are the ten myths I hear most often in Rhode Island and Massachusetts, what’s actually true, and what to do instead.

1) “Estate planning is only about death and dying.
”The myth. Wills and trusts are for when I’m gone; I’ll worry about it later.
The reality. Great plans are as much about life as death. Incapacity happens - stroke, accident, dementia, a prolonged hospitalization. Without a Durable Power of Attorney, Health Care Proxy, HIPAA authorization, and clear advance directives, your family may need a court-appointed guardian to make routine decisions. That costs time and money and strips away dignity and control.
Do this instead. Pair your will/trust with a complete incapacity toolkit (financial POA, health-care documents, HIPAA, living will). Spell out who decides, how they decide, and what you value so loved ones aren’t forced to guess.

2) “Estate planning is only for the rich.”
The myth. We don’t have a mansion—why bother?
The reality. Probate, medical decisions, guardians for minor kids, who handles your accounts, and how your home passes - all of that matters for all kinds of families. Modest estates can be hit hardest by delays, fees, and disputes. And coordination issues (beneficiary forms, house title, digital assets) don’t care about your net worth.
Do this instead. Get a right-sized plan. Sometimes that’s a will-based plan; often it’s a revocable trust to simplify transfers and keep family business private. Either way, choose people you trust, give them instructions, and align your assets so the paperwork matches the plan.

3) “If I have a Power of Attorney, I’m the executor.”
The myth. My POA lets me handle everything when a loved one passes.
The reality. A Power of Attorney dies when the person dies. It grants authority only during life. After death, only a court-appointed Executor/Personal Representative (or a Trustee under a funded trust) has authority to act. Banks and title companies will (rightly) refuse a POA that’s presented after death.
Do this instead. Make sure the plan names a capable Personal Representative (and backup), and if you use a trust, that it’s funded so the Trustee - who could have also had a POA - can step in seamlessly.

4) “A will avoids probate.”
The myth. I have a will, so the court won’t be involved.
The reality. A will is a ticket into probate, not a pass around it. Because probate is a lawsuit your family brings against itself, using your money, at Fabisch Law, we take the position that parents who love their children don't make them go through probate. In probate, the court must validate the will, appoint your Personal Representative, and oversee required steps. If avoiding court, delays, expense, and public filings is a goal, a revocable living trust (properly funded) is the tool that can keep most transfers off the probate docket.
Do this instead. Decide whether probate avoidance is important for your family. If yes, set up a revocable trust and move assets into it (house, non-retirement accounts). Keep beneficiary designations coordinated so the trust receives what it should.

5) “A revocable living trust gives me asset protection.”
The myth. If I put assets in my RLT, creditors and the nursing home can’t touch them.
The reality. A standard revocable trust is transparent - it’s you with a different set of paperwork. You keep full control, so your creditors (and long-term care cost exposure) see through it. It shines at probate avoidance, privacy, and organization, not at shielding assets.
Do this instead. If asset protection is a goal, talk about irrevocable options (e.g., Medicaid Asset Protection Trusts), timing, and trade-offs. These require careful design and lead time to work; they are not last-minute fixes.

6) “My spouse will automatically get everything.”
The myth. We’re married - problem solved.
The reality. Intestacy (the state’s default plan) splits assets based on whether there are children and/or parents in the picture, and how your assets are titled. Add blended families, pre-marital children, or assets with named beneficiaries, and the result can be very different from what you intended - sometimes triggering a forced sale or family conflict.
Do this instead. Put your wishes in writing. A will or trust can protect a surviving spouse and children (including from a prior relationship), stage distributions over time, and avoid accidental disinheritance.

7) “I can wait until I’m older (or sick) to plan.”
The myth. I’ll get to it when things slow down.
The reality. The law cares about capacity. Every week I get calls from people asking me to prepare POAs for family members who can no longer sign them. If an illness strikes or cognition slips, you may no longer be able to sign documents - forcing a guardianship. Some goals (like Medicaid planning or gifting) require years of lead time, and the best long-term care insurance is bought while you’re insurable.
Do this instead. Plan while you’re healthy and decisive. You’ll have more options, less pressure, and lower cost.

8) “I’ll just add my child to the deed/bank account to ‘avoid probate.’”
The myth. Joint ownership is the simple shortcut.
The reality. Adding a child can be a gift with tax and Medicaid implications, can forfeit a step-up in basis (raising capital gains later), and exposes your home or money to your child’s creditors, divorce, or poor decisions. It also risks disinheriting other children or creating ugly family accounting after you’re gone.
Do this instead. Use a revocable trust or beneficiary designations aligned with the plan. If you truly need a joint account for convenience, keep it small or use a convenience signer arrangement where available, not true ownership.

9) “Beneficiary designations always solve it.”
The myth. I named people on my IRA and life insurance; I’m covered.
The reality. Beneficiary forms are powerful-but blunt. They override your will/trust, can become outdated, don’t protect minors (who can’t receive directly), and can disqualify a special-needs beneficiary from benefits. Post-SECURE Act, retirement account payouts are more complicated, and the “just name the kids” approach often leads to preventable tax and timing problems.
Do this instead. Coordinate designations with your estate plan. Use a trust for minors, special-needs beneficiaries, or where you want timing/control. Review designations after life events and at least every few years.

10) “Once I sign, I’m done.”
The myth. The binder goes on the shelf; mission accomplished.
The reality. Two words: funding and maintenance. A trust that isn’t funded doesn’t avoid probate. Real estate needs new deeds; accounts need to be retitled or have the trust listed as beneficiary where appropriate. And life changes-marriage, divorce, a new baby, selling a house, changing states-can silently break a once-great plan.
Do this instead. Treat estate planning like a system, not a document. Fund the trust. Keep an asset spreadsheet. Align beneficiaries. Put a reminder on your calendar to review every 3–5 years or after major life events.

Quick Reality Checks on Your Shortlist

• “Estate planning is only about death.” Wrong. Incapacity planning is half the battle.
• “Estate planning is only for the rich.” Wrong. It’s about people and process, not net worth.
• “POA = executor.” Wrong. POA ends at death; court appointment begins after.
• “A will avoids probate.” Wrong. A funded trust avoids probate; a will does not.
• “RLT = asset protection.” Wrong. For protection, think irrevocable (with trade-offs and timing).

If you see yourself in any of these myths, you’re not alone, and you’re not behind. You just need a plan built for your family, assets, and goals, with Rhode Island/Massachusetts quirks accounted for and the paperwork matched to the strategy.

How we make this easy

1. Clarity first. We start with your people, your “must-haves,” and your “never-agains.”
2. Right tool, right job. Will-based or trust-based, with the incapacity documents every adult needs.
3. Funding & follow-through. We help align titles, deeds, and beneficiaries so your plan actually works.
4. Check-ins. A light maintenance rhythm keeps your plan current as life changes.

If you’re in Rhode Island or Massachusetts and want a plan that avoids court detours, protects the people you love, and keeps family peace, let’s talk. We’ll cut through the myths, give you a straight path, and do the heavy lifting with you.
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By Matthew Fabisch, Esq. - Former Rhode Island Probate Judge • Founder, Fabisch Law • Trusts & Estates Attorney • Father of Four

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